roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
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