I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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