smell my finger.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
