we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
