well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
