You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
