You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
