It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
