omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
