do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
