end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
please don't ironically join a cult
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