I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Is it because I queefed?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
