I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
