well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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