He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
But break dance skills will only take you so far
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
True college students do jello shots in the library
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