NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I checked into jail on foursquare
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
