chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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