how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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