I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
