He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
