drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
