You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Randomize
