Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize
