The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Randomize
