I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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