It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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