Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
