i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
FUCK WHALES
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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