Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize