I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
