I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
