Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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