with your own penis?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize