went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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