yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
