We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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