ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
