i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
