State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
