Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize