the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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