we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize