is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
