What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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