People in love make me want to vomit
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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