Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
