the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
