If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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