K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
