remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
he just fucked me for my cheese..
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize