cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
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