The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Randomize
