the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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