This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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