if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
