I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
