It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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