He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Let's get the cat blown out
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
