1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
