Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
We talked him into tasing himself.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
