what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
