she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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